Of Restless Lamborghinis
by Paleodex
Summary: G1 Prowl decided quite early on that a bored Sideswipe is a dangerous Sideswipe. And of course, a bored Sideswipe is bound to create some kind of mess and/or mayhem, especially when said Sideswipe is confined to small space.


_**Disclaimer: No own, no sue.**_

Prowl discovered quite early on that putting Sideswipe in the brig with nothing to do was a Bad Idea

Prowl discovered quite early on that putting Sideswipe in the brig with nothing to do was a Bad Idea. He had only done it once, and was met with rather disastrous results.

Because you see, Sideswipe just didn't seem able to sit calmly on a bench and nothing, like a good Autobot soldier, Sideswipe needed to be engaged. Within minutes of being left in the brig, he had pressed a forearm against the energy bars, apparently to test their strength, and had received a nice long burn mark in return. This was followed by a quick succession of body slams into said bars, all ending in Sideswipe being thrown back against the wall with an impressive display of sparks.

Eventually, the red twin knelt next to the bars, and without any kind of hesitation, had begun to claw at the black spheres at the base of one of the energy bars. It must have hurt like some kind of unholy hell, but Sideswipe continued to scratch at the small energized contraptions. By the time the bar fizzled and went out, his hands were scorched, torn up and leaking energon on to the cell floor.

Shoving himself to his feet, Sideswipe attempted to slip through the gap he'd created, managing to ease an arm and a leg through before realizing that there was no way his upper body would fit through. With a sigh, he stepped away from the bars and looked down at his energon soaked hands, and then back at the energized bars. Grunting, he had flopped onto the floor, gingerly taking hold of the cube of energon Ironhide had left and sipped at it slowly.

When the cube was finished, the red twin had wasted no time in tossing it against the energy bars, watching blue and gold sparks shoot up as the cube was thrown back towards him. The game lasted a few more minutes before the cube eventually split in half, part of it skittering out into the hall and out of his reach.

With nothing to amuse himself with, apart from the metal bench attached to the wall, Sideswipe began to pace the confines of his small cell at a sedate pace. Feet barely making a sound against the metal floor, he looked like a caged lion, pacing its cell and waiting to be released. The tempo of his steps increased as he went on, accelerating until he was leaping from end to end, nearly colliding with the wall every time. With a final, incoherent yell, he sprinted across his cell in two steps and threw himself against the thick metal, leaving an impressive dent and an interesting smear of red paint. Staggering backwards, he attempted to catch his balance before giving up and collapsing to the floor, left arm now crooked at an awkward angle from the impact. With his opposite hand, he prodded his shoulder gently before sighing and flopping onto his back, staring up at the bland ceiling.

Of course, the silent staring didn't last more than a minute before Sideswipe was on his feet again, stumbling a little while his equilibrium gyros reset themselves before carefully standing up on the bench. Bouncing lightly on it once, Sideswipe bent his knees, leaping upwards and slamming his head into the ceiling with a spectacular crash of metal on metal. With a moan, the red warrior slumped onto the floor, leaning feebly against the wall.

"Ow, ow, ow…"

One mangled hand patted the top of his head gingerly, gently rubbing the now slightly flattened surface. When the dizziness had passed and the cell had finally stopped spinning, he slowly lifted his head and inspected the bench from where he sat. Without standing up, Sideswipe dragged himself a few feet across the floor and twisted a bit before lying on his back, feet raised above his head. Clenching his optics shut, he brought his heels down on the bench, making it shake a little and leaving dents on the orange metal. Again, Sideswipe swung his legs down and impacted the bench, satisfied that it shook a bit more. Bolstered by his apparent success, Sideswipe continued to bring his heels down onto the bench until with a final groan, it detached itself from the wall and toppled onto the floor with a clatter.

Now on his hands and knees, Sideswipe crawled towards his prize and inspected it. A slab of rectangular metal with two small posts attached on the side that hadn't been welded to the wall. With a grunt of effort, Sideswipe snapped these off, crawling back towards the energy bars. Carefully, he placed one end of each post a few centimeters away from the bars, watching the tips slowly sag as the heat began to melt the metal. When both were glowing white, he pulled them away and stuck both ends together, blowing on them while the metal cooled and the posts were quite efficiently stuck together.

Holding his product, a thin, slightly crooked pole, Sideswipe stared out past the bars towards the piece of energon cube that had fallen out of his cell. Flattening himself down onto his stomach, he reached the pole out and poked at it, carefully dragging it towards the bars. When it was close enough, he reached a hand through and tugged it inside, setting it beside the other half of the cube. After examining both pieces, Sideswipe held his pole vertically and carefully balanced one of the halves on top of it. Holding the pole steady, he reached for the other half and set it atop the first, successfully balancing both pieces for a few moments before they tumbled down on top of his head.

With a resigned grumble, Sideswipe grabbed what was left of the bench, tossed it viciously through the bars and flopped onto the hard floor, cradling his head in his arms before slowly cycling into recharge.

By the time Ironhide came back to check on him in the morning, Sideswipe was moaning on the cell floor, curled up in a corner and blowing gently on his torn hands. Apparently, something had infected all the cuts and scrapes, probably the slightly rusted bench he'd been amusing himself with. Feverish, he'd been hauled up to the med bay where he'd been left to Ratchet's tender mercies.

No, putting Sideswipe in the brig was not a good idea. The repairs he needed after wasted to many resources. It was much easier to have him do menial maintenance tasks around the Ark.

Besides, he kept the floors very clean.

_**A/N: I'm back from the abyss! Woot!**_

_**Hit the lil' blue button please, reviews make my world go round :D**_


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